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Pillow Talk Questions for Married Couples: Juicy Questions for Couples from Therapist

Pillow talk questions for married couples can be challenging. It’s tough to think of new intimate conversation questions when you’re both at the end of your day and likely feeling worn out, but still want time to connect. So, we’ve gathered our favorite couples’ therapist and relationship expertise to bring you some juicy pillow talk questions for couples!

Hey friend, I’m Lumalia (Emmy), self care yoga teacher and one of the couples photographers and experience makers here at Celebrate Again. We’re on a mission to help you live a lifestyle of celebration and what better way than your connection with your partner. So, here are 10 pillow talk questions for married couples:

This article may contain affiliate / compensated links. For full information, please see our disclaimer here.

1. If money were no object, how would you spend the day tomorrow?

female rock climbing in her wedding dress

I love these pillow talk questions for married couples because it opens the door to possibilities. The biggest life line for my husband and I’s relationship has always been dreaming. The moment we stop dreaming together is the moment our relationship stops growing. 

Pro Tip: We recommend creating a template email stating what you’ll be doing, how many people you expect, and how respectful your crew will be of the property. This will seriously make a huge difference for your host.

2. If you could relive any memory we've had together what would it be?

female laughing as male rows in the moonlight happy they had a pillow talk questions for married couples to tackle this bucket list item

I love this question because even on hard days together, it can be so helpful to remember how much fun you’ve had in times past. 

Again, use this to get creative for your next date idea to incorporate something from that past memory. Try putting a new spin on it!

3. What's your favorite body part of mine?

We hope this pillow talk question spices things up for you two!

4. Is there anything in bed you've wanted to try that we haven't?

The vulnerability of this one can be very vulnerably, especially if you haven’t talked openly about sexual desires before. Try to be open-minded and let this be a time to listen to each other, even if you don’t act upon it immediately.

5. What music narrates your life? 

Fawn Preston Holmes tells us this is her favorite pillow talk question for couples because:

“My partner and I have been together 24 years and we have five kids together. We infuse music in to everything we do.

In the evenings, after the kids are in bed, we take turns playing songs we love while we chat about our day. We make playlists together. Playlists for road trips or holidays. Motown. Halloween.

We create memories through music and when we hear those songs apart, we remember why we are together. “

You can find Fawn as a life coach, mental health, addiction and trauma informed care specialist at 

6. If travel were simple where would you want to go next?

couple at a mountain in winter as the sun rises and illuminates the mountains

It can be so fun to create a bucket list of places to go together! If you want some inspiration, check out our best anniversary trip ideas to get some inspiration!

P.s. The above image is from a Dream Lake hike.

7. What turns your partner on sexually?

This question comes from Jacqueline Holden, a couples therapist who says:

“How many times have you found yourself, FINALLY spending time with your partner, only to default to work/school/kid/household talk?!

As a counselor, I work with couples a lot, and often recommend that they download the Gottman Card Decks app from the Gottman Institute. 

It’s free, and has 14 decks to choose from! One of my favorite decks is the “Love Maps” deck, which is great for new and long term couples alike. 

Questions range from “What’s your partner’s favorite food?” to “What turns your partner on sexually?”, and I find couples are often surprised at how answers change over time. 

Another one to check out is the “Give Appreciation” deck.  It seems simple on the surface, but it’s easy to overlook all the little things our partners do that we appreciate. 

By spending some time to intentionally call out the times your partner makes you a cup of coffee, takes care of dinner, puts the masks in the wash, you create a culture of positivity in your home. 

All those small moments lead to a deeper, more satisfying relationship.”

8. If you chose how to die how would you choose to go?

couple in a boat on an alpine lake

While this can seem it a bit morbid, it can be a funny conversation too, and hopefully dispel some fears that one day we’re all gonna die.

Why do I love this though? Because my answer as always been choking on my own spit while laughing. Haha

9. I'm afraid to initiate intimacy with you because...

couple in a hot spring cuddling as they work through these pillow talk questions for married couples

This pillow talk question for married couples comes from Dr. Chelsea Page she says:

“A question that goes beneath the surface unlike “what is your favorite sex position” opens up the vulnerability in a couple, which is essential for deeper connection both inside and outside the bedroom.

This question also taps into the fears that blocks each person from reaching out. Such as fear of not performing well, or feeling of pressure to orgasm.

This also then allows not only a deeper connection from the conversation itself, but allows space in the relationship to shift in a way that can allow more safety to show up in intimacy.”

Dr. Chelsea Page AKA “the Soul Doctor” supports women in having soul-centered relationships with themself, partner, business and money. Join her monthly soul support here.

Find out the real reason you feel disconnected from your partner here. Then take our self-awareness quiz to give you a free road map!

10. What's the most wild thing you'd like to do with me?

couple laughing as they walk along the beach happy they had a pillow chat to go exploring

This pillow talk question for married couples can be get your juices flowing but also could be as simple as saying skinny dipping, taking the next flight open at the airport, or having sex in a public restroom (although maybe not during the pandemic!! lol).

Ready to Dive Deeper Into Regular Connection?

Come check out our couples connection experiences. It’s going to rock your socks off.

Here’s a little bout what other couples have said about it:

“That felt fun.” - Marissa

“It made me cry, in a good way.” - Katie Anne

“It felt good and very playful. I felt a good closeness together, like building a future.” - Peter

“Reminded me of how special this relationship is.” - Marissa

“Its a very bonding experience. It felt like a full body gratitude, not just in the brain.” - Jack

“It felt light and supported and spacious. I felt so seen.” - Katie Anne

“I felt a strong sense of calm safety, safety in expression in sharing.” Jason

“The imagery was very beautiful, it felt fun.” - Mike

Need Some Date Ideas?

Want more flirtatious connection with your partner? Check out our 50 flirtatious fun date ideas to inspire your playful romance!

Ready to spend more time connecting?

Download Our Free 30 Day Relationship Challenge Here

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Fall in love with your partner again, and connect in this unique experience we’re bringing Online and in Portland, Oregon.

Join me, Lumalia, for a couples connection experience on Valentine’s Day 2024!

In-person tickets will sell out, so snag your spot before they do! 

Want to have an epic experience together?

Hey! I’m Lumalia (Emmy) and Team couples photographers but more importantly we’re couple experience makers. 

We believe that your connection, wedding day or anniversary deserves a unique celebration, one that takes you away from the overwhelming aspects of daily life and into a place that allows for deep connection. We’d love to help guide you in crafting an unforgettable experience that we hope will transform your relationship deeply. Learn more about hiring us as your Couples Connection Architect,  OregonColorado elopement photographers or anniversary photographers!

Celebrating your anniversary soon? Learn more about what to do for your anniversary!

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9 Responses

  1. These are seriously such great pillow talk questions to get conversations going for married couples – even those who have been married for years! Thank you so much for sharing!

  2. Really great content and I love the creative images as well! This looks like it was pretty fun to create as well! BRAVO!!

  3. THANK YOU for writing this pillow talk questions! There are so many ways to spice up your relationship and pillow talk is definitely one of them! Not only do you get to explore new topics, you get to continue learning about your partner! I downloaded the Gottam Card Decks App and will definitely be checking it out later with my wife!

  4. These pillow talk questions really run the gamut! Definitely a good way to learn about your partner and see how they think!

  5. Pingback: 50 Flirtatious Fun Date Ideas to Inspire Your Playful Romance

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About the Author

Lumalia standing near a coastline with her hair blowing in the wind

Hey, I’m Lumalia, the main voice behind Celebrate Again. I call myself a connection architect because I have a deep passion for guiding us all to fall back in love with life through states of beauty, but many of us are far from feeling at home in our own bodies, so we seek to find safety in others. 

Yikes, that’s scary, I know; I did that for three decades, too, until I returned home to myself.

I’m so excited to share with you all I’ve learned and this beautiful journey back home to what makes you absolutely stunning just because you are alive today.


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