We all have this inner critic in us, but how do we stop the inner critic? We have to love them and view them as a piece of us that was doing their best to get us to today.
Hi love, I’m Lumalia, author, and explorer of life. I am sharing a letter I wrote to my inner critic. I’m realizing it isn’t my inner voice made by my family, but this piece of me from my cultural upbringing made me really judgmental.
But here is the thing about inner critics: they kept us safe until they caused us more harm today.
how to stop your inner critic: Go Love them
What would it look like for you to go love your inner critic?
For me, it’s writing her love letters, disarming her, and saying thank you for keeping me safe from everything I was afraid of. The judgment keeps us safe: from touching the hot fire, engaging with a person who seems violent, or walking too close to the cliff. Judgment is helpful until it’s not.
And that is where we get to go in and say, “Thank you, but I have it from here.”
Judgement gets replaced with tender discernment and just like a parent to a child afraid of getting back on the bike they keep hurting themselves on they say with the trust of the joy of biking “it gets better, keep trying my love, you’re doing great.” And with that love, that confidence building, the child gets back on the bike with their scuffed-up knees and learns what it feels like to fly.
Go let yourself fly
Inspiration on how to stop your inner critic: My letter
I wrote this letter to love my inner critic, and maybe it will inspire you to go do that right now, too, or at least begin a different inner dialogue.
I see you trying to filter everything through everyone else’s body, hoping then maybe you’ll know what you truly want.
Wrap your arms around her darling, hold us tight, and kiss her forehead because that’s all she knows.
She is forced to feel desire because of someone’s brokenness. Please go gentle with her, she’s doing her best, and I know you hate that phrase because it says he was doing his best too, and, indeed, sometimes our best is really fucking harmful.
We’re messy spaghetti, staining all the white shirts, the striped pillow cushions you want to buy from Ikea for the kitchen chairs, but you don’t because, you know, those are not for us who weren’t not sure the last time we mopped our floors or how old that rice stuck to your sock is from. You want it all to be perfect, stunning, and beautiful, and you can have that.
Still, you’ve exchanged it for just being, to leave the kitchen, leave the dishes to look in their eyes, to dance in the living room,
to have extra long hugs:
the kind where she backs up and wants to run into your arms from across the living room.
We just want that type of collision.
Running full stop, isn’t it how stars are made? It’s how life is made, too.
Let’s celebrate the collision,
the smash,
the squish,
the explosions;
let them burst:
your tears,
your kisses,
your love,
your creations.
They must rupture out first.
Let it all crumble, because you know when you put it all together exactly how you want this time, it will be ridiculously stunning.
Find more self-discovery topics here:
- Lumalia’s memoir Blooming Upside Down: A Memoir of Healing from the Incurable
- 30 Day Self-Care Challenge
- Self Awareness Quiz
- Self-Love in Relationships & Why It’s Important
- Living Life To the Fullest
- How I Cured My Autoimmune Disease and Learned to Cope with Chronic Illness
- 200+ Self Love Quotes
- The Journey In
- Is it a Sin to Explore Your Body? Empowering Female Sexuality
- Best Self Improvement Books
- Your Body As Poetry
- Goodbye Good Girl: Healing your inner child
- How to Stop Your Inner Critic
- Tree of Life Mythology and Mind Body Connection
Ready for some support for how to stop your inner critic? Check out my current offerings below.
Women's Gathering Reconnection
Your Body As Poetry:
A low cost Mind-body connection monthly community gathering
Join Lumalia’s bi-monthly somatic journey, tailored for women and femme-identifying individuals, aimed at nurturing the mind-body connection.
Experience live online classes, accessible with replays, and engage in a supportive community.
Each session introduces new themes through beginner-friendly movement meditations—perfect for those who cherish dance and creative expression.
Ideal for anyone seeking community, movement, and a path to explore their creative self. Join Your Body As Poetry
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Customized roadmaps that include self-improvement lessons, nervous system regulation classes (yoga and meditations), journal prompts, and experiences to deepend your awareness.
Begin with my self-awareness quiz to find your roadmap. Then set your calendar for times to continue your journey.
Self Care Personal Reconnection
30 Day Self Care Challenge:
A toe dip to self care with a spicy twist, because we don’t do basic around here.
If you love challenges, plans and showing up to your calendar to dos you’ll love this series.
It includes daily journal prompts, yoga flows, quick pep talks and optional inspired “dates” to take yourself on.
Begin with 30 days of self care
Want more ideas for healing your inner child good girl?
I teach yoga nidra for healing, a pratice that helps you rewrite your subconscious while you rest. Check out the two classes I have here:
