Is eloping selfish for Christians? You may have been told it is, but what if eloping as Chrisitians was the best thing you could do to start your marriage?
As weddings have been postponed, rescheduled, rescheduled again, and even canceled, many couples are considering eloping this year. But can Christian couples elope? Is eloping selfish? Is it selfish to run away together and elope with no one there? Is that what elopement means nowadays?
I Believed Eloping Is Selfish for Christians
When I first considered “is eloping selfish for Christians” I thought it was. 100%
Let’s roll back to my father joking he’d give us $500 to elope instead of planning a traditional wedding. This was back in 2010 when Pinterest just launched and only the wealthy could afford to go to epic places for destination weddings. Regardless, my adventurous heart daydreamed of getting married at the top of our local mountain and snowboarding down. To which my mother promptly replied, “it will be too cold for grandma.” Being young, 20 years old, I gave in to the pressure to please my family and have a traditional church wedding, which we decorated as if we were in a forest… It’s clear my need to be outside for a January wedding wasn’t going to get foiled because I had to stay indoors.
As Christians, it’s part of our beliefs to consider others before ourselves.
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 NLT
The Real Consequences of Not Eloping: My Marriage
While we’d all agree that choosing my grandmother’s comfort over my own desire is being thoughtful and considerate, but what wasn’t being considered at that moment was my future marriage.
When I really considered is eloping selfish as Christians I realized I was asking the wrong question. I should have been asking is this marriage about our guests or us?
You see, while it may be easy to think that elopements are selfish, from a religious standpoint, they aren’t. Especially when you define them as I do, as an elopement wedding photographer myself. They are wedding days centered around and in celebration of the couple themselves, as opposed to being centered around an elaborate ceremony and hosting guests. That’s it.
Is Eloping Selfish for Christians? Or Is It Calling Us To Remember The Meaning of Marriage
As you consider “is eloping selfish as Christians” I’d encourage you to start with a different conversation of how can our wedding day be about our marriage.
What more beautiful way to start your marriage than to center your wedding day around the religious ceremony: the union of you and your spouse versus catering to the guests attending — being concerned with meal counts, whether dancing is allowed, and how many seats you can fit into your church building.
While you certainly can celebrate with friends and family too, I truly believe that your wedding day, your marriage, and especially the religious ceremony should be centered around your union and your story. At the end of the day, it’s about the couple and the life they are building together with God at the center.
Want some tips on eloping with family check this out!
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