When You Question Everything & How it Saved My Life

Empowerment, Flowers, Self Discovery, Self Love

When you question everything, and nothing feels right. Hi friend, I’m Lumalia, author, photographer, and experienced architect here at Celebrate Again: where questions are welcomed, and one of the greatest gifts we get to have as humans, to ask why.

This is a poem that will be featured in my next memoir. You can find my first one, Blooming Upside Down here

When you Question Everything and how it can save your life

There will be a time more often than you’d like where you’ll want to keep questioning everything because one day, age 27 you had to finally question everything

The diagnosis of forever sick

Your marriage you never thought you’d leave

Your faith you lost friendships to 1001 times over

The city you bought your first home in

Your hairstyle

The clothes you wear

Maybe even your own skin color, why if your ancestors are all English, do you tan so well

There may be too many days of worrying, you healed chronic illnesses, only to be afraid that the new lumps are cancer

Doctors will give you no answers

The wellness girlies with their mind-body psychosis analysis will also give you no answer

But something in you will know it won’t kill you

Because you already wrote that script

Death by laughing age 111

good and old

Still silly and giving no fucks

You started that early age 35

It’s why you married the love of your life when it didn’t make any sense.
Divorced for two seconds, but your soul knew from that day on, and every single day he was your husband, finally this time you could keep each other

Even when you keep questioning if you were too different

came from too different lifetimes and desires

But you’ll look in his hazel ocean eyes, press your lips against the marshmallows of his, and remember and remember

and remember on a Wednesday morning

On a Saturday afternoon

And all the times he makes you laugh

and stops to see the snails

after you just told a friend you fell in love with him for doing that

and you find him lagging behind on the trail because sure enough:
snail.

Yet you’ll spend too many days questioning if

If your job is right

Even after you pivot for the 100th time

Declare yourself a wellness practitioner

Declare you’re actually an artist
fuck healing

Declare you still believe in healing, and see how much we all still need it

Keep

take

Want to disappear

But still dance in the park because you secretly love strangers enjoying watching you

Feeling your life flow in circuit

You’ll learn boundaries and how to say no

But your body doesn’t always believe in them

You’ll want to fall in love with too many people

But you’ll keep choosing him

and call the rest friendships, strangers, other lifetimes

But there will come a day when you no longer need to question anything
because you’ll no longer be living for anyone but yourself

You’ll follow every wisdom drop like it were once your Bible

You trust every whisper of yes

Try this

Go here today

Say hi to them

Text her

Say the audacious thing

Get on a flight even when it doesn’t make sense

Say yes to the unthinkable

And over and over again

The questioning will die to the proof
that this life you finally learned
to listen
to follow the compass of your own damn voice

Hello, your inner knowing is calling and she thinks AI is cute but…she can answer that in .4s

Ready to explore your own voice? Your inner knowing is calling, jump into Listen, a 30-day meditation challenge experience, to remember the sound of your own inner knowing.

You’ve analyzed your past enough to fill a library.

It’s time to stop studying your life and start *feeling* it. Put down the journal, put on your headphones, and let’s make your expansion hot, not heavy.

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About the Author

Hey, I’m Lumalia, couples photographer, photographer, author, certified somatic movement yoga teacher, and the main voice behind Celebrate Again. I call myself a connection architect because I have a deep passion for guiding us all to fall back in love with life through states of beauty, but many of us are far from feeling at home in our own bodies, so we seek to find safety in others.

Yikes, that’s scary, I know; I did that for three decades, too, until I returned home to myself.

I’m so excited to share with you all I’ve learned and this beautiful journey back home to what makes you absolutely stunning just because you are alive today.